


Black Drabbles

by Glueblade



Category: Black Dram (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glueblade/pseuds/Glueblade
Summary: Various short pieces of Black Dram nonsense.Part 1: Alain needs a housemate. Surely Tim would love to move in, right?Part 2: Roy is happy. That's all there is to it. (Or is it?)Part 3: Alain starts making a mental catalogue of all the ways Tim manages to annoy him.
Relationships: A. Blair & Tim Underwood
Kudos: 3





	1. Housemate wanted

"Oh hell no, no way," Tim didn't quite shout, but only because he'd acclimated to Alain's nonsense enough that something like this didn't warrant shouting anymore. Alain lightly shook his hair to the side, smiling his understated smile that didn't bode well for his surroundings. (To be fair, none of his expressions meant anything good for his surroundings. Neither did his existence in general.)

"Why not? My house is quite a bit nicer than whatever you're staying at."

"Your place sucks, Alain."

Alain raised an eyebrow.

"How so?"

"You're here. My place doesn't have you in it, which is all it needs to have in its favour."

"Then how come you're here and not there now?"

Tim cursed himself for not having learned to just walk away from conversations like this by now. Especially since he'd probably exhausted Alain's capacity for humouring his attempts at punching him for a while.

"I don't care what twisted plots are making you want a housemate, but I'm really not there for it."

"Not very twisted. The house needs maintenance and inflation hasn't been kind to the family fortune I inherited."

Tim almost laughed, which he was sure Alain could tell.

"You'd probably even save some rent by living here."

"Wait, you'd even make me pay rent?!" Why did Tim still expect Alain to try to make things up to him in some way?

"I saved your life?" ("Ruined it, you mean," Tim muttered under his breath. The hint of genuine surprise in Alain's face was the worst part of it.)

"I can make it a little cheaper for you as a ...comrade, let's say."

"No way. Find an idiot who doesn't know you and hope he signs the contract before he gets a glimpse of your personality."

With that, Tim turned around and stormed out. Roger helpfully held open the door for him. Tim found some comfort in the knowledge that Alain lived with one of the few people who didn't hesitate to poke fun at him whenever the opportunity presented itself.


	2. Roy is Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fic in which the only thing that happens is that Roy is happy. First two paragraphs written by kezi before I ran away with the idea.

new au blackdram fic i just wrote: roy is happy and healthy. i will not be taking criticism

one day roy woke up. he was happy. he was healthy. his life goes smoothly from now on. life is great

He walked to the police station. One of his many friends greeted him warmly. His superior officer commended him on his good work recently. He did not encounter any doctors the whole day.

Roy awoke from another night full of pleasant dreams, fully clothed. There was no need no steal other people's laundry or cry in front of his superior. Another peaceful day without skows passed. All was well. (until people started questioning why so much police was needed when skows didn't cause much trouble anymore.)

The reason Roy fell asleep fully clothed was that the night before, he and his friends in the police had gone drinking and, fueled by his colleagues' wild cheers, had slightly overestimated his capacities. However, the sergeant was understanding and did in fact seem pleased that Roy had started making friends at the station. Roy felt warmed by the fatherly affection.

Although voices were heard that demanded that police expenses be reduced, Roy was in no danger of losing his job. He had come to be beloved by the people of Dunnin for his valuable services that included chasing sausage-stealing dogs and acquiring bandages for little kids' scraped knees.

Roy fell asleep that night thinking that things could not get better. A new recruit had come to rely on him and Roy felt more like a dependable policeman than ever, something he had been dreaming of since he was a little boy. However, that night he was awoken by a strange noise. Getting up groggily, he felt his way through the darkness of the policemen's quarters. Just outside, in the shine of the lantern, he saw a young dog, barely out of puppyhood. Its miserable cries were what had disturbed Roy's slumber.

Roy reached out to the scared puppy and after a moment's hesitation, the dog drew closer and sniffed his hand. Roy took his emergency ration (a piece of sausage) out of the pocket of his night shirt and handed it to the dog, which ate it eagerly. That night, Roy made one more good friend.

The next day, Roy noticed that the young recruit seemed a little under the weather and made an attempt at some encouraging words. Despite Roy's clumsiness, the recruit seemed to cheer up and following this event, the two grew closer than ever. Roy occasionally worried about his young friend since he seemed hesitant to fight skows and even disappeared from his beat some nights. However, thanks to Roy appealing to the chief on his behalf, he was able to keep his job.

Roy was happy. Everything in his life was fine. He had friends, understanding superiors and even a puppy. He was healthy and no evildoers were around to disturb his peace. All was well. (Or was it?)


	3. An Idle Observational Study of the Tim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alain starts keeping track of the ways Tim manages to annoy him.

"The one good thing about this blood diet is that I don't have to think about what to eat every day anymore," Tim remarked one evening, a few months into their acquaintance.

"So," Alain asked, "you're saying you actually don't mind me making you a vampire that much?"

Tim looked him in the eyes with his mouth compressed into a thin line.

"That is absolutely not what I'm saying."

Insufferable things about Tim:

\- Somehow still hadn't come around to being thankful for what Alain had done for him

* * *

/r/relationships had not been helpful at finding ways to fix that one. Alain had tried to subtly lead Tim in the right direction by sending him screenshots of /r/AITA posts that approximated Tim's behaviour, but Tim had refused to take the hint so far. Instead, he occasionally reciprocated by sending him horribly compressed jpgs of memes that Alain had last seen two months ago when they already hadn't been funny anymore, usually captioned with something like

_Luka sent me this yesterday XD_

Insufferable things about Tim:

\- Somehow still hadn't come around to being thankful for what Alain had done for him  
\- Texts like he's stuck in the 2000s

* * *

Another day, Tim complained about having to wear old jeans that didn't fit anymore because he'd been too lazy to do laundry.

Alain took the opportunity to rest his eyes a little when Tim turned around to look at the books on the bookshelf.

"I'm surprised, but there's actually something to appreciate when you wear tight trousers. You might even have one up on me in that regard."

"Maybe the butt reflects the personality," Tim replied dryly, though he appeared a little rushed in sitting back down with the book he'd picked out.

Alain could have argued that it was because Tim worked a job that required him to regularly move around outside while Alain hung around on the internet all day, but he felt it wouldn't actually improve his position.

Insufferable things about Tim:

\- Somehow still hadn't come around to being thankful for what Alain had done for him  
\- Texts like he's stuck in the 2000s  
\- Actually has a nice butt

...Why was he making mental lists about Tim anyway?


End file.
